Disabled Experience: Isolation

Having a disability can be isolating, physically and socially. There are so many factors that contribute to isolation, including social stigma, legitimate fear, unconscious bias, innocent ignorance, etc. I remember when I was in elementary school, I couldn't sit by many of my friends at the lunch table or snack time because they were scared of my blood sugar meter. They didn't want to see the blood from my finger. It made me feel ostracized and "othered".

The first summer we had access to our finished pool, all my neighborhood friends practically lived in my backyard. The pool was THE Knollwood hangout spot. I loved swimming with them, but every two hours I had to stop swimming and put my pump back on for a bit. Multiple times, my pump overheated, and I had to go inside, leaving all my friends splashing and having fun.

Almost any person who has experience with being pushed to the fray of society (in different and valid ways) knows the feeling of loneliness, even when in a crowd of people. The stares because you operate or look differently. As Amy Oulton said in her Ted Talk, these stares make individuals feel "both hyper visible and invisible." At the lunch table or at the poolside, I was seen as the embodiment of Diabetes, instead of Ellie, the diabetic.

Through my first month at Hearing Dogs New Zealand, I have heard from many deaf people that they feel isolated. Because they are hard of hearing, people might assume that communication has to be nonverbal. It depends on the person: some can read lips, others know how to communicate that they are HOH, or they can sign clearly. A hearing dog not only provides a companion in the home, but it also provides an avenue for conversation while in public. People not only want to greet the dog, but they see the yellow jacket and want to know more about the dog's work and training.

A hearing dog also gives the recipient a sense of security. The recipient is more likely to invite people over to their house because their dog can alert them to the doorbell. They can sleep more soundly because they trust that the dog will alert them if the smoke alarm goes off. The recipient also has to reach out to their neighbors to let them know that a service dog is living nearby. If the recipient lives alone, they may have to recruit help from neighbors to practice sound work.

Having a hearing dog also opens doors to community. Being HOH is an invisible disability, so one has the burden of disclosing their disability to others. By having a service dog with the noticeable yellow jacket, there is a physical indicator that access needs may not standardly be met for this person. People may be more attentive to accessibility, which makes the disabled experience a little easier.

If you are in the same space as a disabled person, you don't have to ask them about their disability. Ask them about themselves, as people. They will share whatever they want to share about their life. I choose to share most things about my disability. but that is a personal decision. Always respect the boundaries that people share with you.

Thank you to Hearing Dogs New Zealand for the connections to recipients and for the mentorship, opportunity, and experience. Thank you for validating my own experiences and linking them to a broader context.